Friday 5 February 2016

The house ignites in flames I didn't grab no shoes or nothing I ran for my life but the smoke got me I got broncitic. so the next day I wake up in the hospital getting ready for surgery the took tests. then they go to work. then they start stuffing stuff down my throat trying not to gag. After it was over so much relief. it felt good not getting stuff shuved down my throat.
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3 comments:

  1. Unknown5 February 2016 at 19:58

    I don't really get what is going on here and lots and lots of spelling mistakes. You should go fix that. Otherwise I liked your story oh and I know what you did with that crack a doom.

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  2. Unknown5 February 2016 at 21:15

    Well, it's creative, but I was lost through the whole thing! Also you need some capitols and punctuation

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  3. Unknown6 February 2016 at 21:30

    Your writing is more a list of events than a creative story. You have some good elements for a story that need some revising. Be sure to read it out loud to yourself and a parent. Many run-on sentences and punctuation that needs to be corrected.

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